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August 28, 2026

Gray Divorce On the Rise

More and more couples 50 years of age or older seem to be divorcing nowadays. These divorces are commonly known as the “Gray Divorce”. The following article by Kendra Cherry, MSEd, updated October 16, 2025 at verywellmind.com can help explain why gray divorce is on the rise. Kendra is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the “Everything Psychology Book.”

To see the rest of Kendra’s article, see https://www.verywellmind.com/gray-divorce-8646068#:

Why So Many Older Couples Are Falling Victim to the Gray Divorce Phenomenon

Key Takeaways

• Gray divorce happens when couples over 50 decide to divorce after long marriages.
• Common reasons for gray divorce include empty nest syndrome and financial disagreements.
• Gray divorce can be financially hard, especially on women, who may face a bigger drop in living standards.

Bill and Melinda Gates. Hugh Jackman and Debora-Lee Jackman. What do any of these couples have in common? They’re all divorced after decades-long marriages. See, there’s this growing trend of older couples calling it quits. And the research backs this up too—a 2021 report by the U.S. Census Bureau found that more and more couples over the age of 65 are divorcing, after being married for years, if not decades.

Why are older couples—after spending nearly half of their lives together—ending their relationships? This phenomenon, dubbed “gray divorce,” is one explanation for the growing number of single-person US households. 

At a Glance

Gray divorce is on the rise, and the reasons behind it are complex and varied. Statistics suggest that Baby Boomers are more prone to divorce, and factors like empty nest syndrome, shifting priorities, financial problems, and reduced stigma surrounding divorce can all play a role. Keep reading to learn more about why divorcing after age 50 is becoming more common and the potential effects this can have on a person’s well-being.

What Is a Gray Divorce?

Gray divorce is often defined as divorce that occurs after the age of 50 following a long-term marriage. These individuals have often been married for many years or decades but ultimately decide to split during the later years of their lives. 

Why are so many older couples getting divorced? Whereas younger couples divorce because of incompatible parenting styles or difficult relatives, older divorcees are more likely to split due to empty nest syndrome, infidelity, and financial differences. Instead of fighting over custody of the kids, elderly couples are more likely to argue over pension plans and retirement savings. Divorce can take a massive financial toll, and older adults who are closer to retirement age—or already retired—have less time to recover.

How Common Is Gray Divorce?

One 2022 study looking at historical trends in gray divorce found that divorce rates among middle-aged and older adults have increased since 1970. Gray divorce was relatively uncommon in 1970 and grew only modestly until 1990. In 1990, 8.7% of marriages among people over age 50 ended in divorce. By 2019, that number had grown to 36%.

The researchers also noted that people over the age of 65 are the only age group with growing divorce rates. In contrast, the divorce rate among adults in their 20s and 30s has actually declined in recent years.

Generational Influences

One explanation for growing gray divorce rates is that Baby Boomers—adults born between 1946 and 1964—make up the bulk of the age group over 50 and this generation is more likely to divorce than older and younger generations. Boomers were more likely to divorce during their younger adult years, and their divorce rates have also continued to rise as they age.

Other factors that increase the risk for gray divorce include the number of previous marriages and the number of years a person has been married. Remarriages are less likely to last, and people who have been married nine years or less are more likely to divorce.

While length of marriage is a risk factor for gray divorce, many couples who split after the age of 50 have been in marriages lasting decades. According to statistics by the Pew Research Center, 34% of gray divorces are between couples married for at least 30 years, and 12% are between couples married 40 years or longer.

Factors Contributing to Gray Divorce

So why are many couples opting to split after weathering many of the challenges they’ve faced earlier in their relationship? The reasons why a long-term couple opts for divorce vary from one situation to the next. Some common factors that appear to play a major role include:

Empty Nest Syndrome

Kids leaving the home can create a big shift in a relationship, sometimes resulting in what is commonly called “empty nest syndrome”. Couples may find that once their children no longer live at home, they have little in common outside of their roles as parents. This can make it hard to find closeness and connection, leading many adults to seek fulfillment outside their relationship.

“For many couples, the children have been the source of their connection,” says Kimberley Bes, RN. MA,  a dispute resolution expert and founder of Best Conflict Solutions. “When the children are gone, some couples realize they have drifted apart and no longer have shared interests or a strong connection.”

Financial Issues

Arguments over money can become more pronounced as couples near retirement age. It becomes harder to find common ground and maintain the peace, as people contemplate leaving the workforce. Financial infidelity—such as hiding bills, large purchases, debts, or secret bank accounts—can also affect the stability of a long-term marriage.

Retirement plans may hang in the balance when a couple’s financial behavior and goals are out of sync. Ending the relationship may sometimes seem like the only way to resolve such differences.

Infidelity

Cheating is one of the most common reasons for divorce at any age, including among older couples. Infidelity is a bitter betrayal. After spending a lifetime building shared memories with another person, watching it crumble down due to unfaithfulness can make it too difficult to repair the trust and intimacy a couple once shared.

Health Problems

Health challenges like a serious chronic condition can majorly strain a relationship. Some couples find that they’re unable to handle health issues that emerge as they age.

Notably, research indicates there is a gender disparity in how health problems affect couples. Studies reported a higher divorce risk if the wife develops a chronic illness, whereas men who become disabled or ill do not face the same level of risk.

Growing Apart

One of the most significant causes of gray divorce is the changes people experience as they age. Growing apart is the most frequently cited reason for divorce at any age. For older adults specifically, aging represents a big change, and people’s priorities, interests, and needs may shift as they grow older.

Some couples might grow closer during this time, but others might find their values and priorities too different, leading some couples to choose separate paths.

Changing Expectations

Our expectations for what we consider a healthy satisfying marriage have also changed over time. Today, couples are more likely to place a greater emphasis on how the relationship makes them feel, including whether it contributes to their overall happiness and fulfillment. When a relationship or a person’s needs shift, it may no longer meet these criteria, which is why some people may opt to end things.

Societal Changes

Societal changes have also influenced this relationship upheaval. Older adults were often raised with the expectation that they would marry, have children, and grow old together. Today, many now recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all path to a happy life, and women have more freedom and financial independence to past generations. 

“The majority of all divorces are initiated by women, and this is true for gray divorce as well,” explains  Kate Engler, LMFT, CST, a licensed couples and sex therapist at Three Points Relationships. “In the last 50 years, women have gained greater economic independence and have held and maintained their own careers. This has created more options for women on many fronts, including deciding to divorce.”

As a result, people are less likely to stay in marriages that don’t meet their needs, even if it means calling it quits after spending decades together.  Engler notes that other factors such as increased life expectancy have also played a part. 

“With increased life expectancy, many people—particularly women—look down the road at what remains of their life and think, ‘Why would I want to spend these years in a bad marriage? I still have a life to live, and I want to be happy,'” she adds.

One study found that attitudes toward divorce have become more supportive among people over the age of 50. Reduced stigma around the idea of divorce may also lead people to choose to leave rather than stay in an unhappy or unsatisfying relationship.

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the “Everything Psychology Book.”

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