Divorce as Opportunity for Mom and Dad to Become Co-Parents
Basic Facts
Mom had been the primary care giver to two elementary school age children. The divorce forced Dad to face that his parental role had been deteriorating year by year. Dad was afraid that as a result of the divorce, which he did not want, he would lose whatever relationship with the children remained.
Challenge
Creating a parenting plan by which Dad could rebuild his parental role and relationship with the children in a way that assured the children’s physical and emotional safety and well-being. While my client, Mom, shared Dad’s goal of successful co-parenting post-divorce, she was skeptical due to the marital history.
Solution/Value Added
Within the security of the collaborative divorce process, Dad was willing to acknowledge how his alcohol use had affected the entire family. Mom was then able to begin to be open to the possibility of a new post-divorce co-parenting relationship, one which, if successful, offered Mom many benefits. The focus turned from one of guilt and blame to problem solving from the children’s perspective, which included agreements around alcohol use, Dad rather than Mom remaining in the family home, and Mom residing doors away from Dad during a transition period.