Ways to Divorce
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| Is there more than one way to get divorced in Connecticut? |
Yes. Litigation and arbitration are adversarial ways to divorce. Fortunately, you may also take advantage of non-adversarial ways to divorce such as mediation or collaboration.
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| What is a traditional or litigated divorce? |
There are many definitions or descriptions. In our experience, a litigated divorce typically is one in which the husband and wife are opponents or adversaries, each gets “more”, however more is defined, by making the other get “less”, and each spouse, to some extent, turns control of and decision making in the divorce over to lawyers, therapists, judges and court officials.
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| What does non-adversarial divorce mean? |
Again, there are many definitions or descriptions. In our experience, a non-adversarial divorce is one in which the spouses, most often with the input and guidance of legal professionals, resolve their own divorce issues based upon their legitimate interests rather than unrealistic or unreasonable demands and positions, without court interference. Mediation and collaboration are two methods of non-adversarial divorce.
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| Can spouses who dislike or even hate each other successfully mediate or collaborate? |
Yes, quite often. Finding the right professional support is one key to success.
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| What are the benefits of non-adversarial divorce like mediated or collaborative divorce? |
Most non-adversarial divorces, as compared to litigated divorces, are private, respectful and foster creative problem solving. Most importantly, you and your spouse retain decision making over your lives and those of your children.
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| How does divorce mediation work? |
As a mediator, I am jointly retained by the divorcing couple to guide you through the court process, identify your respective interests, create choices and assist you both achieve a “win-win” settlement of all financial and parenting issues. Rather than being either spouse’s lawyer, I am a neutral facilitator working to help you both achieve your goals, to the extent possible, and reach an agreement that is acceptable to you both.
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| What is collaborative divorce? |
Collaborative divorce is a private and respectful way to divorce without court interference. Collaborative practice is also family focused, especially when children are involved. In contrast to mediation, each spouse retains your own specially trained lawyers. As a collaborative lawyer, I work as my client’s advocate to achieve and satisfy my client’s legitimate interests. At the same time, I listen to and consider the interests of the other family members. Collaboration emphasizes open communication and creative decision making.
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| Can any divorce lawyer effectively and properly handle a collaborative divorce case? |
In my opinion, no. I strongly recommend that you do not retain a lawyer to represent you in a collaborative divorce unless a) the lawyer has formal collaborative training, b) his practice demonstrates commitment to collaborative divorce, and c) he has a record of collaborative case success.
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| What is the main difference between divorce mediation and collaborative divorce? |
As a mediator, I am neutral and I must maintain neutrality throughout the mediation process. As a collaborative lawyer, I am my client’s advocate and maintain a privileged confidential relationship with my client throughout the collaborative divorce process.
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| Is divorce mediation or collaborative divorce better? |
Neither process is necessarily “better” than the other. Instead, the divorcing couple should consider the level of professional support that best fits your situation.
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| Will a divorcing person receive a better outcome if he or she litigates rather than mediates or collaborates? |
No. In my experience, the overall divorce experience and outcome of a non-adversarial divorce for essentially all divorcing persons is superior to the experience and outcome of a litigated divorce case.
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