Collaborative Practice
Confused, afraid and overwhelmed.
These emotions are shared by men and women, fathers and mothers and husbands and wives ending their marriage, civil union or romantic relationship. Adversarial methods of dispute resolution such as the traditional litigation process often exploit and promote these feelings.
But it does not have to be this way for you and your family. Fortunately, you have an alternative. More and more parting couples are choosing Collaborative Practice to resolve their disputes and move on with their lives in a respectful, private, creative and family focused way.
Collaborative Practice is an approach to divorce based on three core principles:
- A pledge not to permit court interference
- An honest exchange of information by both spouses
- A solution that takes into account the highest priorities of both spouses and their children
How it works?
The No Court Pledge
Both spouses and their lawyers sign a contract committing them all to participate in a respectful process resulting in an out of court settlement which meets the legitimate interests of both spouses and your children. The lawyers in fact agree to withdraw from the case and terminate the collaborative process if the spouses do not live up to their collaborative obligations such as for example, by filing motions with the court or refusing to disclose important financial information. This no court pledge empowers and enables you and your partner to keep control of the decisions made in your situation rather than giving decision making authority up to a judge. With Collaborative Practice then, the goal is to develop effective relationships among the participants, solve problems jointly and prevent a court battle.
Open Communication
Collaborative Practice provides for face to face meetings with you, your spouse, your respective lawyers and sometimes other advisors. You and your spouse thus actively participate in creating solutions rather than leaving the responsibility for your lives in the hands of other people. These so called four way meetings allow spouses to develop trust in the strength of the collaborative process, accuracy of information exchanged and, often for the first time in years, their spouse. When concerns and goals are opening discussed, problem solving can be direct and solution focused.
A Creative Future Focused Agreement You Feel Comfortable With
Collaborative Practice focuses on identifying the legitimate interests and needs of both spouses and your children and fashioning plans that meet these interests and needs. Rather than being grievance sessions at which the spouses relive the real or imaginary wrongs of the other, Collaborative Practice focuses on the future by building on areas of mutual agreement. Instead of being limited to what a court might order after trial, you and your spouse are encouraged to think creatively about what is best for your family.
A Supportive Process
In Collaborative Practice your lawyer is your advocate, ally and advisor. I am with you at the four way meetings and whenever you need me outside of these sessions.
Collaborative Practice also provides an opportunity to bring other professionals into the process to help you, your spouse or your children to the extent you want or need to do so. Whether child specialists, divorce coaches, or neutral financial consultants, these advisors are trained not only in their own specialty but in Collaborative Practice.
A divorce coach helps you manage the pain and strain of changing relationships, while focusing on goals for the present and the future. The coach does not conduct therapy but instead assists you be at your best during the divorce process so that your ability to contribute to the collaboration is maximized.
A child specialist meets with your children privately, assisting them in expressing their feelings and concerns about the divorce. Encouraging children to think creatively about the future, the child specialist then communicates their feelings, concerns and hopes to the team to consider when planning for your children’s lives.
A financial consultant helps ensure that the financial settlement is soundly structured so that the financial future for you, your spouse and your children is maximized. The consultant does this by reviewing assets and income and developing viable financial options. As a neutral, the financial consultant’s analysis can be trusted by both spouses.
Is Collaborative Practice Right for Me?
Yes, if you want to:
- Interact with your spouse respectfully
- Emphasize the needs of your children
- Avoid court interference
- Keep control of the divorce process
- Communicate openly with your spouse
- Utilize a problem-solving approach
- Identify and address interests and concerns of you, your spouse and children and create a solution that focuses on these
- Move on with your life in a positive way
My Collaborative Practice Commitment
I am committed to offering my clients exceptional collaborative practice services. I do this by continuing to get the best training possible by participating in workshops throughout the country taught by internationally recognized experts.
In addition, I am member of several formal and informal collaborative practice groups including:
The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP). We are an international organization of collaboratively trained and committed lawyers, mental health professionals and financial specialists. Visit our web site at www.collaborativepractice.com
Collaborative Divorce Lawyers Association. Composed of Hartford area lawyers, we have been practicing collaborative law together since shortly after collaboration came to Connecticut 2000. Visit our website at www.collaborative-divorce.com.
Central Connecticut Collaborative Family Law Group. Another collaborative law practice group, our membership covers central Connecticut from Cheshire to Hartford.
The Collaborative Divorce Team of Connecticut. We are a group of lawyers, mental health professionals and financial specialists all committed to collaborative divorce. Visit our website at www.CollaborativeDivorceTeamCT.org.
Divorce Solutions of Connecticut. Another collaborative practice group, our members work with clients on interdisciplinary teams. Visit our website at www.divorcesolutionsofct.com.
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For More Information About Collaborative Practice
- Call me to schedule an initial consultation.
- View one of the web sites listed above.
- Watch my "NBC 30 News at Ten" interview or "A Better Way to End a Marriage".
- Read -- Webb, Stuart G. and Ousky, Ronald D. The Collaborative Way to Divorce.
Hudson Street Press, 2006; or, Tesler, Pauline H., Thompson, Peggy (2006). Collaborative Divorce. Regan Books, Harper Collins Publishers, Inc.
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